standstill

time seems to crawl by second by second. its just seconds but every one is one more gone forever. stuck in camp on a sunday afetrnoon listening to tracy chapman sing fast car is not a particularly good way to spend that time. but i guess it could be worse. i'm just trying not to indulge in some self pity, though i wouldn't say i'm trying all that hard.

guess i ought to be thankful i can even be here today. nearly had a bad accident during the jump on thursday. if it means anything to anybody, i got into massive twists when i punched out of the plane and by the time i cleared them i was almost on the ground. worse, i was directly over a big concrete drain. essentially the perfect place to go if you're intending to break a leg. or perhaps your neck. amazingly i landed on the sloping ground centimeters away from the drain and only my combat equipment suffered the indignity of going for an involuntary dip. i suppose i have only God to thank. thats the second time in two weeks He's spared me from serious injury.

damn i completely forgot about gabriel's stint on power 98 on friday. sorry gabe if you read this. if you'd like me to offer and excuse i was doing parade rehearsals. i kid you not.

small

there are times when i love just staring out into the night sky and pondering and wondering. call me a fool but i'm just so fascinated by the idea that some of those pinpricks of light i see in the sky took millions of years to reach my eyes. and the places they originated from are humongous, gargantuan stars, some of which would make our good old sun look like its suffering from anorexia. Some of those places don't even exist anymore. in the time it took for the light to reach the earth, those stars have gone nova and exploded, taking entire solar systems, perhaps entire civilisations and what not with them. forming black holes that are so powerful that not even light can escape them.

it makes me feel so small.

narcissism

on thursday i was so excited bout bringing my number one back and taking a proper family photo in some studio. now i'm sitting here wondering just what happened. seems i'm the only one who's got any interest at all in taking the photo. nobody's bothered to check out any potential places. everyone thought to leave it to me. the guy who's in camp 5 days a week. everyone's got their own plans and all. sigh.
maybe i should just be glad they're putting up with me and squeezing in those few minutes.
anybody wanna take photo with your friendly neighbourhood soldier all dressed up in ceremonial garb?

someday

Someday we’ll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we’ll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we’ll know
Why I wasn’t meant for you
Someday we’ll know
Why sampson loved delilah
One day I’ll go
Dancing on the moon
Someday you’ll know
That I was the one for you

what else can i say

i'm tired, i'm sleepy and complaining about life's just so easy.
well went out with shaun and eileen yesterday on the pretext of going to look for shoes for myself. truth is my heart wasn't really in it. just wanted to get out of the house and spend time with friends. eileen is pretty. hooray i know another pretty girl. wandered around and then book in.
i've been in a state of almost perpetual melancholy for the past few days. and this constant tiredness i feel isn't helping. anyone have a cure for droopy eyelids and sleepy eyes let me know.

American History X

wow i just saw american history x and i have to say its the best show i've seen in a long time. you know those shows that people promote as provocative and sensitive and controversial but when you actualyl see it, it doesn't live up to all the bloody hype. maybe the show really is that good but the problem is that the buzz around it made it seem better than it really was. well this movie's nothing like that. ok true it didn't have that much hype, but it lived up to every bit of it that it did. edward norton at his best. its about racism in america and how kids are just brought up right in the mire. growing up without ever realising the consequences of their actions. until reality comes up behind them with a brick in its hand. its good. trust me. this is what i spend my day off doing.

well what have we here?

i hate hendon. fucking hate it. god i've never wanted to ord so badly till now. well if anyone's interested in what some army guy did with a few days in camp, here goes. spent the past few days doing airborne module 2 training. for the non airborne or commando trained, that essentially means learning to do what all those guys in band of brothers did over normandy. Jump out of planes with a full combat load of stuff. weapon, equipment blah blah blah. if only airborne was as glamourous as they portrayed it. well except for the burning planes and dead paratroopers that is. one thousand, two thousand, three thousand, check! togggles, front! over right, over left. under left, under right, in between. Good para position. anybody wanna ge xiao and say you're airborne trained just repeat those lines and you'll convince most idiots.

i'm talking shit

why do bloggers do what they do?

recently someone gave me his opinion on why write blogs and post them online for all the world to see? well his reason might invite scoffing. he said its simply because of people wanting to get attention. he also said that he's above all this crap and i thought he was pretty much a jackass but thats something else altogether. but i guess in a way its true. he also said that the reason why i find it so hard to write online when i can write pages and pages in my dairy is cause i'm trying real hard to impress. which i realised is actually very true. which surprised me, coming from a dimbulb jackass. ok i'll lay off the jackass. but ok from now on i won't give a damn however insightful or poignant or downright stupid my posts'll be. this is me.

sigh just got a call from my ps that gotta go back camp tonight. off get eaten again. so what else is new. sorry guys. i really wanted to play dota. another time. shaun and cai and all the other officers can help me give my ps 7 extra.

some people just need to shut up

Phantom of the opera would be great if everybody just stopped singing and talked like normal people. And Christine stopped being a dumb blonde. God's sake she doesn't even know the guys name and she wants to elope with the phantom guy. And the phantom guys a bloody paedophile. I mean she's a little girl when he was already a grown man, and he waits for her to grow up so he can get laid? How jackassed is that?

Phantom of the Opera lovers suck shit.