Isaac's Quite Accurate Chinglish - English Translation Guide

In a bid to foster better communications and relations between Singaporeans and those hailing from the land of mountain tortoises many many people, I present the first ever Chinglish – English translation guide. Hope it helps in deciphering the rent-a-phd our schools seem to be so fond of these days.

bugats – bureaucrats

bear-sick – basic

breens - grains

campenis – campaigns

conseared – concerned

cusmack – cosmic

dongs – zones

distense – distance

dois! – Taoists

fei lan tou – for example

gahmen – government

hillp – help

inboi – envoy

jello – general

lanched – launched

la-ballon - rebellion

monfay – monthly

pants – peasants

spling – spring

samoa – small

regypt – region

tu-stloriod – two thousand

unix – eunuchs

There, hope that provides some insight into the way those arses lovely people speak.